Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
