I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
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Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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