It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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