I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
