Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
