just survived the first fart of the relationship.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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