youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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