yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
