Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
