i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
