i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize