apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize