U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
