So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
