I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
