i permit you to call me
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
