Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
