Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
