Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
