I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
