I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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