Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
