I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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