Don't you send me to vm
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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