wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
