I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
