so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize