so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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