he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
