I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize