it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
