woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
