This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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