I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Randomize
