its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
