This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
