bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
