so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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