You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
