i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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