i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
