i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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