Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The Olympian is in my bed
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