So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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