Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
