I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
