Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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