They should really pass out barf bags in church
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
