Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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