Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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