Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize