there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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