I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
