I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
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You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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