She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
