Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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